May 2011

I have been feeling too sad to write and a week has passed. I wonder if anyone will bid on my dress when I eventually put it on Ebay. Maybe I should just give it to an oxfam shop and stop making it into a big drama.

I said No BANANAS (Then Aug 2009)

It is at this point in time that my hideous boss at the BBC goes into overdrive. She calls me into her office to tell me that my daily to do list has increased. I look at the extra elements. They are all personal to her and not BBC related at all.
1) - Put an add on gumtree as she is looking for a new Nanny. She has been through 4 in six months. I bite back sarcastic comments relating to Mary Poppins and ask her is I will be expected to interview the nannies as well. Sh replies "No" quite unaware of my sarcasm. I am just to print out the replies and then rank them from 1 - 10 in order of preference according to a point system that she is going to devise.
2) - Get a fresh smoothie everyday from the cafe which is a 30 minute walk away. This is to be ready on her desk by 11am every day. It takes about 30 minutes to be served. Therefore the first 90 minutes of my day is now therefore dedicated to her smoothie. It has to always have some sort of "berry" in it and under no circumstances any bananas
3) - Check her personal email box and print out any photographs that are in the inbox...

Confronting him (Then: Aug 2009)

I send the West End guy a message. “So when’s the Wedding?”

He doesn’t respond.

Two hours later I text again “Does Cristine know that her Fiancée has been seeing another woman for 5 months?”

He still doesn’t respond.

I dont kid myself. I am not in love with this guy but I got seriously attached and he had some kind of power over me in that I was drawn like a moth to a flame. maybe it was lonliness, maybe it was boredom that drove me into his arms. But nevertheless, I had been sincerere and honest with him and he had deceived and used me in a way that defied belief. I was not only completely shocked and angry about it all. I was unable to decide what to do about it. I consoled myself that it couldnt get any worse and that he would surely at least feel bad and shameful when we discussed it. I waited for him to get in touch..

Random Tagging (Then:Aug 2009)

In no time at all I start to get replies back in response to the message I sent out on Tagged. And yes indeed it was confirmed that he had indeed been meeting these women when he went to Europe for business. But it wasnt business that he had been interested in. Usually meeting them in a nightclub or bar and plying them with champagne before inviting them back to his room. Sometimes he met up to 4 or 5 of them in during one trip.

I am completely furious with this man and devastated. Even though I hadnt been in love with him it was the fact that he could be so deceptive and capable of such betrayal. This was not even taking into account the equally outrageous fact that I had discoverd about his fiancee.

I sent him a text saying that I had an urge to see him as soon as possible and we agreed to meet in "Jewel Bar" at Picadilly Circus  that evening.

Hell has no fury (Then: Aug 2009)

I go into complete shock. Its incomprehendible that I have been dating a man for 5 months and he has a fiancee tucked away. I log onto Tagged.com and check out his profile. He has over 3000 friends. They are all female, under 30 and gorgeous. As a frequent traveller to Europe for business, he was in the habit of adding down local girls from the city that he was planning to visit that particular week. After keeping tabs on his profile for a few months this had always been an issue with me. Why only add women? If you genuinely are only networking and want to make business contacts? Why never add men? Or ugly women with good jobs?

So I systematically work through his ENTIRE friend list with the following message:

"Hello. You dont know me. I live in London and have been in an exclusive relationship with  your friend from Tagged for the last 5 months. How are you aquainted and what is the nature of your relationship with him during this time? After recently finding out that he has a fiancee that he neglected to mention, Im just curious to what other mischief he has been up to. Grateful for any feedback you might want to give.."

I log off and wait...

Suspiscious mind (Then: Aug 2009)

I went to meet the West End guy for dinner in Knightsbridge. When I turned up he was sitting with a few friends in a wine bar. They were all pretty drunk when I got there. As soon as I arrived his friends stood up and started to stagger out. One of them muttered something under his breath and winked at the West End guy. I wasn’t supposed to hear but I have ears like a bat.

“Take it Cristine isn’t to know about this”?”.

I ask West End man. “Who is Cristine?”

He replies “What? Don’t know.”

I ask again. He tells me she is someone he is networking with for an event with a hotel company. I ask which company. I used to work in the tourism industry and know my stuff. He gets irritated but I push. Eventually he says” Starwood hotels why what’s the problem?”, I let it drop.

When I get home that night I google “Starwood hotels” and “Cristina”. I get a hit. She is a manager for the group. I click on her profile. Blah Blah Blah. Responsible for this and that. And then at the bottom of the page a brief bio about her. She is engaged. To the guy I have been seeing for five months….

The Not-so-godly- Father _( Then: July 2008)

One night in July 2009 I go and meet the West End guy. We have been seeing each other for 4 months. He is sitting in the bar with a Cockney bloke who gets really annoyed when I join them at the table. He leaves after about 20 minutes. I ask who he was. I am told that he is a big player in the London Mafia.

I start to suspect that the guy I am seeing could have a murky life. I think about trying  to ask some probing questions. I consider: "Have you ever been in trouble with the law?" and  !How did you get so rich that you have a mansion on Hyde Park?". However after a bottle of champagne he is in the mood to talk and tells me a delightful story about how he got revenge on the guy he hired to design his website who didnt build it to specifications. I ask what happened. He tells me with a deadpan face that he got someone to go to the guys flat and smash it up. I wait for the punchline but it doesnt arrive. I tell myself that he is joking and talking nonsense after too much to drink but that night I make an excuse and take a taxi home instead of letting his driver take me.

Suspiscious (Then: July 2009)

Before I know it I have been seeing the West End Guy for 4 months. I am straight up with him and explain that when it comes to men “I do not share”. None of this "not exclusive stuff" for me. He tells me he besotted with me and that he can see us going the distance.

Something doesn’t add up though. It only takes a bit of research on his “tagged.com” profile to see that he is constantly adding gorgeous women in their 20’s. I find this really disconcerting and ask him why. He tells me it is to network for when he go overseas. He goes to Europe every week for business. Everytime he goes to a new city he adds about 20 new women from Tagged.com from that city. I ask him why he never adds men. He laughs. I don’t and start to get suspicious.

Plus – Ive never been to his house in Hyde Park – we always use hotels as he told me he had workmen in. My suspicions get stronger.